


Words

by Mitsuhide



Category: Bleach
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-07
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-15 03:57:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 17,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13605033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mitsuhide/pseuds/Mitsuhide
Summary: Grimmjow has been living a life of carelessness, getting into fights, spending time in jail and just being Grimmjow. His life came crashing down with words spoken in the shadows. Standing in court ready to hear his fate, what destiny awaits our teal headed troublemaker??





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Translations:  
> Tadaima = I'm home  
> Ohayou gozaimasu = Good morning, usually to people older or your superiors at work or just to be formal.  
> Itadakimasu = Literally means "Thank you for the food"  
> Sensei = Means learned person, usually used for teachers but may also be used for people who know more about a certain thing/s like a docter. ( Very watered down explanation)  
> -san = Suffix used for respect towards elders or strangers meeting for the first time  
> This feel's like Japanese 101.  
> Hopefully I haven't left anything out. So this is my first work, just like testing to see if anyone is interested in reading my story. Please even if you do not like the story please leave a comment, so that I may know what went wrong.  
> Forgive me if I missed spelling mistakes, or grammer issues, sometimes my mind just auto corrects!  
> A big thanks to my friend Amy-chan for her superb editing skills, making the story so much easier to read.  
> Please enjoy!  
> Douzo yoroshiku *bows*

The buzz of the crowd was all Grimmjow could hear, an occasional sneeze and cough made it through the clamor. He could feel the stares of the people in the room, weighing, judging, calculating his worth to society. He was ready to scream his defiance, but a cold hand returned him to his senses. Ulquiorra knew the look Grimmjow wore, it resembled a thundercloud, ready to unleash its fiery destructiom on its surroundings. Both of them were pulled out of their musings by the tap of a wooden hammer, signaling the judges have finally decided to enlighten them on Grimmjow’s future.

“After much consideration, we decided that Mr. Jaegerjaques will be put on a probation period, on the condition that he must receive treatment. The place he will receive treatment will be at the Las Noches Health Clinic, further details pertaining to the appointment date and time will be discussed with his lawyer, Ulquiorra Cifer. Case dismissed.”

A very few outnumbered souls thank the gods for this small miracle, giving Grimmjow his last chance to live his life, as normal as he possibly can. On the other hand, you could almost taste the tension in the room, angry murmurs filled the court hall, making their displeasure known. For the first time in his career as a lawyer, Ulquiorra felt uncertain, not because of the outcome, but for the safety of his client. They were led out of the court room by the police assigned to Grimmjow, parting the angry crowd and deflecting most of the jabs and sneers directed their way. When they finally reached the car, both of them let out an audible sigh.

Grimmjow was the first to break the heavy silence, twisting his face into that trademark scowl of his. “Fucking bastards, they were ready to hang the both of us, if it weren’t for the cops I doubt we would’ve made it to the car.” Ulquiorra directed his gaze at Grimmjow, assessing his client for almost the last time. “You were lucky this time Grimmjow, having self-defense in your favor proved a point, but with your history and temperament it could have gone either way.” Grimmjow snorted, “Fucking self-defense or not they just wanted me behind bars, fucking pricks.”

The conversation died down as they reached his family home, his sister’s car already there. While making their way towards the front door, Grimmjow pulled out a cigarette, lighting it with a flick and pulling in a deep breath, allowing the sweet toxin to calm his nerves. The door suddenly sprang open, making way for a teal-haired woman dashing towards them. Grimmjow did not have the chance to brace himself, before the woman came crashing into him. As a result, both of them landed on the grass, Nel crushing her brother in a powerful hug. She sobbed against his chest, letting him know her relief. “O- oi Nel! Come on, there’s no need to cry.” Keeping his hands at his sides, not knowing what to do with his emotional sister. “It’s okay, I’m back and I’m not going anywhere again, just please stop crying.”

Nel lifted her face, looking at her brother, searching for his sincerity. Satisfied with what she found, she gave him a quick squeeze and jumped up, holding her hand out to her brother. “Let’s get inside and hear what Ulquiorra has to say.”

Making their way through the door and into the living room, they sat down on the couches. Finally settled Ulquiorra allowed himself to speak, “Nel-san, according to the court, your brother will receive counseling at the Las Noches Health Clinic, from what I have heard, it is not one of the cheapest options there is, but unfortunately we do not have much say in the matter. They will relay all the necessary information through me, and I will keep you notified on the specifics of your brother’s appointment. Please rest assured that your brother will be in good hands.” Questions and answers were exchanged between the two and when he finally left it was already late afternoon.

“I thought he would never leave, considering all the questions you had for him.” Grimmjow glanced at his sister from the corner of his eyes.  
“We need to know what will happen Grimm, and the best way to find out is to ask” directing her brother with a reproving look, she sat next to him on the couch. “We should stop dwelling on today and move towards a brighter, happier future.”

“Yeah yeah, I’ll be a lot happier with a full stomach, if you don’t mind,” as if his stomach had a mind of its own, it made a loud grumbling noise, letting the world know the full extent of its displeasure. Nel couldn’t help but smile, almost forgetting her brother hadn’t eaten most of the day.

“Yes sir, I’ll get started right away, otherwise your stomach might start to eat me,” feigning a mock salute, she headed towards the kitchen, filling the house with mouthwatering aromas.

  
                                                                                                           ***

  
The same day, during Grimmjow’s trial, in Las Noches Health Clinic:

With a sigh, Ichigo closed the door after his patient left his room. Sometimes he feels like he needs a psychiatrist too, just to cope with his nightmares. Now don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t dislike the job, it’s just that he needs something or someone to take his mind off of things. Ichigo didn’t notice the man standing at the door, too absorbed in his own mental debate. “Kurosaki-kun” startled out of his daze, Ichigo, snapped his head towards the door.

His heart hammering against his chest. “Urahara-san, you gave me a fright,” said man gave Ichigo a small smile before heading to his desk and sitting himself down at one of the patient’s chairs.  
“You were so deep in thought I didn’t want to disturb the peace.” Still sporting the same small smile, until Kisuke took a good look at Ichigo’s face. “You’re looking very tired, maybe some sleep would do you good.”

Feeling ten years older, he decided he would take Kisuke’s advice. With a sigh Ichigo got up from his chair, flashing a smile at Urahara. “I haven’t been able to sleep lately. All my patients so far have had traumatic pasts and it’s definitely taking its toll and me. If Urahara-san doesn’t mind I would like to take the rest of the day off.”

“Of course Kurosaki-kun,” sporting the same small smile from earlier he left the room and went to search for his lover, Aizen. He didn’t have to look very hard, he found him in the research lab. Trying not to disturb him, he tiptoed until he was standing behind Aizen. Snaking his arms around his waist, he brought his lover close to his body. Planting a kiss on his neck, he brought the man out of his observation on the microscope. Aizen leaned into Kisuke’s body, letting is warmth enveloped him and soothe his aching muscles. “That was nice, you should do it more often Kisuke,” clearly that was not the response Kisuke had expected. He thought he would have been ignored or most likely be scolded because he was being a nuisance.

Seeing the surprise on his lover’s face, Aizen let out a small chuckle, “I’ve been cooped up in this room for most of the day, staring at bacteria and other things. Being appreciative of some physical contact doesn’t seem so out of the ordinary, does it?” Kisuke, being pulled out of his state of shock, tightened his hold on Aizen and rested his head on his back, mumbling a short “I love you”, making Aizen blush. Turning around in his grip he lifted Kisuke’s face and planted a kiss on his lips, showing his response to his lover’s words. Before the kiss was deepened the intercom sounded and Nanao was calling for the two men.

Both sighed and headed downstairs to the reception. “What is so important for you to call both of us, Ise?” Sensing Aizen was in a cranky mood, Kisuke placed a hand on his lover’s back, trying to calm his stormy behavior. Ise Nanao decided to ignore his bad mood and instead answered, “Unohana-san will be here in a second, she will tell you the reason.” The words hadn’t passed her lips properly before Unohana came in through the door. “Ah Kisuke, Aizen, glad you’re here. Please follow me to my office.”

Both men decided it would be best to follow her, but had no idea why she needed both of them.

Entering her office, she sat down behind her desk and motioned for the two men to be seated. “The reason I called you here, Kisuke-san, Aizen-san,” looking at the both of them respectively, “is because we were approached by the local court to do some rehabilitation of a certain troublemaker. You may or may not have heard of him but that doesn’t really matter. Our patient’s name is Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, these are the files I just got from the police. Seems he has a troubling background and has need for a psychiatrist. Most likely a doctor too. Please review his file in detail and come back tomorrow with some suggestions. Any questions?”

Kisuke and Aizen took the files and flipped through the contents, a look of annoyance flickering across Kisuke’s face. Unohana, with her many years of service in this particular industry, caught onto his behavior, “What’s wrong Kisuke?”

“Nothing, it’s just that when I saw Kurosaki-kun today he looked like the walking dead. Maybe it’s not such a good idea to push this onto him when he is already straining under his current workload.” A look of sympathy passed over Unohana’s face.

“I have already spoken to Kurosaki-kun about the prospect of having another patient, we reviewed his file together, making Kurosaki-kun more determined to help Jaegerjaques-san.” Kisuke was a bit surprised to hear Ichigo had accepted such a daunting task. “Any other questions… Aizen?”

“No, nothing at all. Should we look at alternative treatments or more tried and tested methods?”

“He will be here for rehab, not experimentation, please refrain from going overboard.” Unohana said this with a sweet, innocent smile. Aizen knew better than to challenge her on this.  
After a short discussion, between the three of them, the men left the room and headed back to work. Unohana was still sitting behind her desk, a ghost of a smile lingering on her face. 

                                                                                                      ***

  
After Ichigo talked to Unohana-san, he went home to his rented apartment. Kicking off his shoes at the entrance, he mumbled a weak “Tadaima” not expecting anything in return. The house used to be a bit livelier. Before he broke up with his ex, that is. No matter, he was starving and he needed to make some dinner. After dinner he took a shower, allowing the warm water to ease his sore and tired muscles. He headed straight to bed, taking the file Unohana-san gave him. He wanted to be sure to take in all the details of his prospective patient. After an hour Ichigo decided it would be best to try and get some sleep, for tomorrow would be a very long day.

  
                                                                                                       ***

  
The next morning:

Ichigo woke up feeling slightly better, but still a bit sleep deprived. Today he was going to meet his new patient and his family. He was not certain why he was feeling excited, but to hazard a guess it must have been the prospect of having a patient like Grimmjow Jaegejaques. With his blue hair and the eyes to go with it, he had killer good looks. Needless to say it would be difficult to work with him, but Ichigo was never one to back down from a difficult situation.

He got out of bed and readied himself for the day. Driving to the clinic he got a call from his father. “What’s up Dad?”

“Aww, Ichigo my beloved son, daddy misses you soooo much, also Karin and Yuzu misses their big brother. When are you coming to visit us?!” All of this was delivered in that crazy, psycho tone his father used when he was being silly. Ichigo couldn’t help but laugh at his silly father. “When I have the time to actually sleep I’ll come and visit you guys.”

“Give us the phone old man…” Ichigo knew the phone switched from his father to his sisters. “Oi Ichigo, when are you going to stop making excuses and come visit? Yuzu usually makes too much food, saying you could drop by any moment.”

“K-karin, don’t listen to her Ichi-nii, she misses you just as much as I do.”

Ichigo couldn’t help but feel a slight pang in his chest as the voices of his family brought back painfully sweet memories. He remembered the time when he and Renji just started dating. They would come home to Yuzu’s wonderful cooking and spend time with his family. Ah man, those were the days, but he knew things wouldn’t last. When he and Renji moved into their shared apartment, things started going downhill, not immediately but gradually. Both of their studies started to interfere with their personal time, hurtful words were flung around and apologies were never spoken. A year went by like this, Ichigo thought it was a common thing for couples to go through, what people called “turbulent times”.

  
                                                                                                        ***

  
He noticed the change in Renji when he started going out late at night, coming home in the morning or maybe not at all. When Ichigo confronted him it was just n shrug and a “It’s a part time job” excuse. Now, Ichigo usually never gets jealous, but having to hear the same lame excuses over and over made him extremely irritable.

When Renji came home one day, Ichigo took a look through his phone while he was in the shower. Lo and behold, he didn’t find anything, but Ichigo couldn’t place the feeling, he was anxious, confused?

When Renji finally made it out of the shower, Ichigo was waiting for him in their room. “Renji, are you cheating on me?” Thinking back on it now, the way Renji reacted should’ve alerted Ichigo that something was amiss, but being in love sometimes has its downfalls.

Renji tensed at the question, gave a nervous chuckle and a sidewards glance in Ichigo’s direction. “Why would you ask something like that? You know I’m loyal. We may have been fighting a lot but I would never cheat on you.”

Ichigo bowed his head and let out a sigh, relief written all over his face. Unfortunately, he couldn’t see the guilt written over Renji’s. “Ichi, I’m going to work, and I’ll be out afterwards, please don’t wait for me.”

Ichigo believed Renji’s words of solace, not even alarmed at his sudden plans. Renji gave Ichigo a peck on the lips and headed out. Ichigo still wasn’t happy though.

A short while after Renji left, Ichigo made his way through the door and out of the house. He spotted Renji on the far side of the sidewalk. Following him from a safe distance, they kept walking for about ten minutes when they came to a town square. A lot of young adults were gathered at the place which made Ichigo frown. He had heard about such places, it had a very big goukon type of feel to it. Ichigo spotted Renji heading towards the center of the square.

He met up with a dark-haired woman, roughly the same age as them. It wasn’t until he gave her a lingering kiss and a hug that Ichigo felt the embers of his annoyance light up into the flames of anger. Trying to control his anger, he decided to leave before he did something stupid. Walking away from the square, he bumped into someone. Gritting out a “Sorry” when a familiar voice attracted his attention.

“Oi, Ichigo! It’s you, isn’t it?” Clearly Ichigo didn’t expect to run into Shinji now.

“Shinji, never thought I would run into you here.” Shinji’s eyebrows rose to his hairline, not expecting his friend to greet him like some stranger. “What’s wrong Ichigo, you look ready to kill someone?”

Ichigo couldn’t help but laugh at Shinji’s statement, because he was really ready to kill someone. “Yeah, something like that, you free now or are you heading somewhere, because I really could use something to drink and some company.” Shinji knew Ichigo wasn’t a heavy drinker and it surprised him when Ichigo asked to go drinking.

“Sure Ichigo, tell me everything.” Shinji swung his arm around Ichigo’s shoulders, leading them to the bar Shinji frequented. It didn’t take long for them to reach the Black Cat. Hidden in an alleyway, this bar had the sort of atmosphere that made people more talkative. Regardless of what their secrets were.

Pulling him through the door, Shinji alerted the man behind the bar of their arrival. “Shinji, I see you’ve brought someone new with you.” Shinji laughed his normal crazy laugh and sat them down at the bar table.

“The usual please, Hisagi-san.” With the word from Shinji, Hisagi brought two glasses out and filled them with ice cubes. Mixing his most regular patron’s favorite drink, he took a second glance at the newcomer’s appearance. With the lights dimmed as it was, his hair emitted a soft orange glow. His downcast deep brown eyes conveyed his hurt and betrayal. Pouring the mix into their glasses, Hisagi found he wanted to comfort this boy, but knew that it would only cause more heartache if a stranger offered his sympathies.

Shinji took a long look at his friend, assessing the hurt look in the boy’s eyes. “So Ichigo, where do you want to start?” Ichigo gave Shinji a very dead look, as if the fire in his eyes was extinguished by some great down pour of water.

Ichigo laughed at his own hesitance, thinking maybe he had it wrong, but he knew then that his life as it was, was over. Taking a sip from his drink he started recounting the events that had led up to that moment.

  
                                                                                                           ***

  
Thinking of the pain Ichigo felt that time brought a pang to his chest. Recounting the fight he and Renji had afterward, when he confronted him, made it all the more painful. Wiping away the solitary tear, he decided not to dwell on the past and instead focus on the future.

Arriving at the clinic, Ichigo was greeted by his two male superiors, Urahara and Aizen.

They waved Ichigo over and he made his way towards the two men. Urahara had this energetic, playful aura around him, while his counterpart had this regal, solitary air around him. Thinking of how the two of them had ended up in a relationship left Ichigo baffled. They loved each other, maybe not openly displayed for the whole world to see but each furtive glance and touch made Ichigo believe that the two of them belonged together.

“Urahara-san, Aizen-san, Ohayou gozaimasu.” Bowing to the both of them, Ichigo gave the customary greeting to his superiors.

“Ohayou Kurosaki-kun.” Both men replied with a slight bow of their heads. Urahara had something else on his mind other than greeting his junior at work. “How are you feeling today? Are you ready for today’s special appointment?” Urahara let his concern seep through his voice, making Ichigo a bit nervous.

“Kisuke, don’t go making him more nervous than he already is.” Aizen responded in Ichigo’s stead, making Ichigo chuckle.

“I’m doing well Urahara-san, but I must admit that I’m a little bit nervous, but I assure you it’s the healthy kind of nervous.”

Urahara returned to his normal energetic self and lead the group inside for the daily meeting in Unohana’s office. They filed into her office and took their respective seats. “Good morning gentlemen, I do hope you had a good night’s rest.” A small hum of agreement was their reply. “Please let me introduce you to Ulquiorra Cifer, Jaegerjaques-san’s lawyer.” Greetings were exchanged between the men, and when they settled in their seats, Unohana took the lead again.

“I decided to include Ulquiorra-san in today’s meeting, as the meeting will revolve around our new patient, Jaegerjaques-san.” The general things on the agenda of the meeting were addressed first, making way for the more important discussions.

After the meeting, Ichigo went to his office to get ready for the day. Trying to calm his nerves, he made an effort to clean his already spotless office. Now the “long wait” for his first client began making him all the more nervous. Today was definitely going to be a long day.

  
                                                                                                          ***

  
Meanwhile at the Jaegerjaques household:

“Grimmjow get up, breakfeast is almost ready!!” Nel yelled from the kitchen. Making her brother open one eye and consider the importance of breakfeast over sleep. As always his stomache made it quite clear what needed to be done. Getting out of bed, Grimmjow headed downstairs towards the kitchen, trying to rub the sleep from his eyes as he went.

“Mornin’.”

“Good morning Grimm, did you sleep well?” Nel asked in a chirpy voice.

“Well, I could use a few more hours of sleep,” Grimmjow replied with a yawn.

“Well dear brother mine, if I left you to your own devices you would’ve slept until you had to go to your appointment.”

Not saying anything, he looked at the breakfast in front of him and decided that it was way better than the few hours of sleep he had lamented.

Sitting down at the table, Nel glanced at her brother, looking for something to tell her how he was feeling. Deciding to forgo her inspections she and her brother started breakfast with an “Itadakimasu.”

Getting ready to leave the house, they made sure they had everything. Nel ushered her brother to the car. “Come on Grimm, you need to walk a bit faster, otherwise we’ll never get there!”

“Who says I want to be there on time?” Glancing at his sister through the crack of his eyelid, while cracking open another big yawn.

“Grimm…” Nel would’ve made an intimidating mother.

“Yes, yes. I’m at the car, you coming?” Grimmjow decided it’s best not to get on his sister’s bad side.

While driving to the clinic, Nel engaged Grimmjow in non-consequential small talk, warning him not to cause trouble because this was his last chance and so forth.  
Stopping at the clinic, they made their way to reception. They saw the small clinic at the end of the parking lot. Heading through the entrance, they came face to face with the receptionist. She led them to someone’s office and ushered them inside. Closing the door behind them, she left and returned to her desk.

The clinic might be small, but the interior was something else to behold. Well cared for leather couches were spaced throughout the room and paintings adorned the walls, making the atmosphere more relaxed than normal doctors’ offices where everything seemed sterile and lifeless.

Standing beside his sister, both of them stared at their surroundings, taking in the detail and care their surroundings emitted. “Good morning children, please have a seat” startling them out of their reverie, Unohana motioned for them to sit down.

Smiling at the both of them, Unohana offered them the option of tea or coffee. Nel declined saying they already had before coming there. Sitting behind her desk again, Unohana took in the appearance of the two newcomers, all the while she had a sincere smile on her face.  
“I thank you for coming on such short notice. My name Unohana Retsu, it’s a pleasure making your acquaintance. May I ask your names?”

Startled by the sudden question, Nel quickly answered her, “My name is Nelliel Jaegerjaques and this is my brother Grimmjow Jaegerjaques, it’s a pleasure meeting you as well Unohana-sensei.” Bowing her head, she glanced towards her brother, finding him refusing to pay his respects. Stomping on his foot got him to comply but not without unnecessary remarks.

Facing the other woman in the room, she found she still wore the same sincere smile.

“Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, I’ll lead you to Kurosaki-sensei’s office, but before we leave do either of you have any questions?” Looking at the both of them for confirmation, she decided to give them a few seconds to think.

“Yeah I have a question. How long will this ‘counseling’ of yours take before I can stop coming?”

Turning her smiling face towards Grimmjow she answered him, “Well to be honest with you Grimmjow-kun, it will depend on your progress as well as the reports Kurosaki-sensei submits to us. We will then evaluate you and send our report to the court and ask them for their permission to cancel your weekly appointment.”

Grimmjow eyed the woman in front of him with annoyance, and gave a small nod of acknowledgement. Deigning the questions to be over, she led them to Ichigo’s office. Lightly tapping on his door, she awaited for his response. A Muffled “Come in” was uttered. Opening the door, she led them inside. She bid them farewell with a small bow and left Ichigo’s office.

“Please have a seat, both of you.” Smiling, Ichigo motioned for them to take a seat in front of his desk. Grimmjow noticed the room was a bit more barren than the lady’s office, but by no means did it change the atmosphere. The man with the orange air emitted a relaxing aura, making the room feel cozy and safe.

Taking the initiative, Ichigo decided to introduce himself properly, “My name is Kurosaki Ichigo and I will be taking care of you from now on, it is a pleasure meeting you.” Feeling obliged to return his greetings Nel decided to speak first but was interrupted by her brother’s voice.

“Grimmjow Jaegerjaques and this is my sister Nelliel, nice to meetcha, Kurosaki-sensei.” Grimmjow answered in a mocking voice, stringing out the last word needlessly, lips stretching into a wide grin.

To say Nel was shocked, was a complete understatement. Her eyebrows climbed into her hair line, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. She stared at her brother in utter amazement. After several seconds of staring she came to her senses, stuttering a “Pleasure to meet you” to Ichigo.

Ichigo, startled by Grimmjow’s voice also took to staring at him, but recovered quickly, giving him a quick nod and a sincere smile. “Thank you for coming on such short notice. Please, if you have any questions feel free to ask me at any time.” Still smiling, Ichigo tried to put the newcomers at ease.

“I believe we should start with some simple questions, just to get comfortable with each other. As you probably know Grimmjow-san, you will be spending an hour here every week from now on and at the end of the month I will need to write a progress report, to detail your state of mind and how you reacted to certain situations. Please do not be alarmed. As time progresses we’ll be delving into certain subjects like the past, but for now we’ll start with simple things like where you work, what you do for fun, hobbies etc. Any questions so far?”

Looking at the two siblings, he noted that the brother’s mood darkened and the sister’s mood seemed to take on a subdued feeling, but they gave no response to his question. Deciding to face the problem head on, Ichigo started asking his preferred first day questions.

“So Grimmjow-san, tell me about your home. Do you live alone or with your sister? Do you have a job currently, if so please tell me about it?” Grimmjow cocked his eyebrow at the string of questions, feeling like he was being interrogated, but decided to humor Kurosaki. Giving him a smirk he started to answer him.

“Living with my sister right now, had a job as a bartender, but got fired before the court case.” Ichigo listened and expected to hear more but it seemed that Grimmjow decided that was enough for him.

Smiling, Ichigo dared to ask why the people found it necessary to press charges while it clearly states it was an act of self-defense.

Grimmjow’s temper rose by a few degrees. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself. Thinking back, whenever he tried to defend himself when he was accused of “assaulting” people no one ever believed him. Why would it make a difference now? That train of thought didn’t help his rising temper, but he had promised Nel he wouldn’t cause too much trouble on the first day.

“Because they were pricks,” Grimmjow gritted out, fighting the urge to pound the brat.

“Ah, Grimmjow-san, would you please specify why they were pricks?”

Grimmjow’s eyes widened at the question, not able to stop the bubbling laughter pouring out of his mouth. After Grimmjow calmed down, he replied with a voice filled with contempt, “Because I spoiled their fun a few days earlier. They weren’t sober enough to fight me so they took off like cowards, only to come back when they felt they had safety in numbers.”

Ichigo’s stomach did a small back flip. When he mentioned ‘fun’ did he mean that kind of ‘fun’?

“Grimmjow-san, you mentioned fun, did you mean a specific type of fun or a more general type of fun?” Looking at the kid, Grimmjow almost took pity on him, what’s that phrase… ah ignorance is bliss, that’s it?

“Yeah, the rape kind of fun.”

Ichigo paled a bit, but knew how to handle disturbing news, “What happened after they confronted you?”

“I kicked their asses and left them there on the concrete to rot,” Grimmjow deadpanned.

Ichigo tensed at his response, carefully deciding how to respond. “You must be a very good fighter to fend off six grown men.” Ichigo directed Grimmjow with an appraising look. Not knowing what else to say, Ichigo motioned for Grimmjow to ask a question.

Nel knew that Grimmjow wouldn’t hold back, but decided to apologize if push comes to shove.

“So Ichigo-sensei, should I call you ‘Strawberry-sensei’ from now on or are there other nicknames I can call you?” Grimmjow’s face grew smug at the reaction he teased from his counterpart.

Ichigo already knew the type of person he was dealing with, so he decided to remain calm because that would be his key to victory. “I’m sorry Grimmjow-kun, but I usually don’t go by any nicknames nor does my name mean strawberry. Anything else?”

Dropping the –san suffix made Grimmjow scowl but it got a bit annoying when he was treated so formally. His grin found its way back onto his face, “Yeah, I have another question sensei. Do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend right now?” Grimmjow’s words hadn’t properly left his mouth before Nel shot him a murderous glare. Lifting his hands in innocence, Grimmjow thought the question to be quite normal. Looking at Kurosaki, he found the reason for his sister’s anger. The light in Ichigo’s eyes dimmed and he gave Grimmjow a blank look, not completely registering the question. His face slightly paled and the corners of his mouth pulled into a slight grimace.

Taking his time to answer, the atmosphere in the room dropped a few degrees as if the sun decided to withhold its warmth. “Ah forgive me, that subject is still a bit uncomfortable for me, but to answer your question, no I do not have a boyfriend at the moment, and may not have one for some time.”

Both Nel and Grimmjow made a mental note not to ask that particular question again.

Trivial questions such as hobbies, likes and dislikes were exchanged throughout their hour session, bringing back the same kind of warmth the room had at the beginning. When Ichigo told them their hour was up he accompanied them to the reception and booked another meeting the following week.

“Thank you for your time and patience today, I’ll see you next Wednesday at 11.”

Ichigo gave the two a slight bow and made his way towards Unohana’s office to report on his first session. Softly tapping on the door he heard her permission to enter.

“Unohana-san, I just finished sending them home.” Taking a seat on one of the couches he recounted their discussion, how he reacted and what Ichigo thought of Grimmjow.

Unohana gave Ichigo a critical look. “Will you be able to handle him?” Shocked at her question, Ichigo gave Unohana a determined nod of his head, making a small smile grace her lips.

“Remember Kurosaki-kun, you’re not alone. We as your superiors and colleagues will support you.” Startled by her statement, Ichigo gave Unohana a small smile of gratitude. Heading back to his office Ichigo gave Unohana a bow and left her office.

  
                                                                                                                  ***

  
“What do you think Grimm, would you be able to survive the sessions without me?” her voice was filled with concern. Looking at his sister he could only laugh at her anxiety.

“Naturally. Do you think I’m some savage who only fights for a living?” Giving his sister an unimpressed look.

“I have my doubts sometimes.”

  
                                                                                                                  ***


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Moshi moshi minna-san!! Its been awhile. This chapter is already several weeks into Grimmjow's counseling and touches on another pair as well!! I also introduced new characters. Last but definitely not the least, my absolute wonderful editor. She just knows my mind and how I want to write certain parts! A big shout out to Amy-chan! Without further ado!!  
> Japanese used:  
> Furikake: Dry seasoning for rice, veggies and fish  
> Sashimi: Raw fish sliced into thin pieces  
> Also forgive me if I missed story breaking errors!!( Hopefully there is none)  
> Enjoy

Several weeks went by after his initial visit to Kurosaki’s office with weekly appointments being scheduled and adhered to, allowing Grimmjow to get familiar with the orange haired doctor. Now as he headed to his fifth session, he almost felt anxious. Grimmjow never felt anxious to meet people much less people he had already spent time with. Today was different, he felt a certain sense of anticipation, as if his gut was telling him something might happen, whether it be something to do with his counseling or something entirely different. Shrugging his shoulders to lessen his anxiety he entered Las Noches health clinic.

He took a seat in the reception and waited for the woman to call his name, still discovering new things every time he entered the clinic. Today his attention was focused squarely on a dream catcher that was dangling delicately from the cabinet handle behind Nanao’s head. Funny, he hadn’t really pegged her as superstitious.  He leveled his gaze on the woman behind the reception desk. Pitch black hair was tied neatly into a bun, sporting a small bang on the side of her face. Her eyes were focused on the papers in front of her, but that didn’t hide the color-lavender.

He was startled out of his observations when Nanao-san motioned to him to continue on to Kurosaki’s office. Shoving his hands into his pockets he glared at the receptionist and went on ahead. Taking a lazy stroll through the corridor he finally ended up in front of the strawberry’s office. Thinking back to his first session, he remembered the flash of irritation Kurosaki showed when he was called strawberry. A smirk made its way onto Grimmjow’s face as he pushed through the door and was surprised to find no one behind the desk. His brilliant blue eyes searched his surroundings until he found his target.

Standing in front of a large window with closed eyes, Kurosaki was basking in the sunlight that was turning his hair into a fiery sun. Ichigo turned his head towards the intruder in the room and cast his amber gaze on Grimmjow. His eyes were filled with a distinct sadness and longing flickered across his eyes, rendering Grimmjow totally unable to move a muscle. A resonating shiver echoed through his body giving him goose bumps.

They continued to stare at one another for a few seconds until Kurosaki closed his eyes and turned the rest of his body towards his patient.

“Good morning Grimmjow, I do hope you are doing well this morning?” giving a slight bow to Grimmjow, Ichigo made his way over to his desk.

Grimmjow was released from his petrified state by the warm voice of Kurosaki. “Mornin’” giving Kurosaki a gruff reply. Shaking his head to clear his charmed mind he sat on the chair allocated to him.

Ichigo stared at his patient looking for anything out of the norm. Looking at Grimmjow’s eyes he only saw the locked away hurt and anger hidden behind a wall of teal blue ice. He had had no luck in coaxing Grimmjow to share his emotions with him in any of the past sessions that always seemed to follow the same routine. Greeting each other, asking what happened during their week apart, and falling into trivial discussion about each other’s lives.

Ichigo decided to face the problem from another angle. “Grimmjow, would you mind laying down on the chair for me?” Ichigo asked the man in a complacent tone.

Lifting an eyebrow at Kurosaki’s question he smirked and walked to the chair. Laying down he tried to make himself as comfortable as the chair allowed him.

“What now?” Grimmjow asked slightly annoyed. He could hear Kurosaki walking and heard the creak of a chair when he sat down again.

“Today we’ll delve into your past a bit, this may be uncomfortable but I want to know more about you, otherwise we’ll never get anywhere.” Ichigo’s voice emanated from the back of Grimmjow’s head. His scowl deepened at his words and he wanted to leave. The anxiety from before he came here was now replaced by anger, a raging flame battering against the constraints of his control. Giving an audible sigh Grimmjow remained silent hoping to forget his memories and the feelings attached to it.

Ichigo could feel and taste the tension in the air, after his words left his mouth. Certain now that the look in Grimmjow’s eyes were related to a very traumatic or painful past. Steeling himself for what is to come, “Grimmjow, would you mind telling me about your life as a child, like where you went to school, your friends…whatever you feel you’d like to share with me.” The sound of leather creaking got Ichigo’s attention and his eyes met Grimmjow’s, now sitting upright directing a scorching glare at him. Looking at his face Ichigo saw pain, sorrow, anger, but what surprised him the most was the guilt that lingered in those fiery eyes. How was it possible to make icy eyes burn so intensely?

“I cannot help you if I don’t know what happened Grimmjow. I can see you are angry with me but I also see pain and guilt in your eyes. Trust me when I say talking about your past helps to heal the scars that have been left there.” Ichigo tried placating him with a soft voice. He saw the tension in Grimmjow’s muscles slowly ebb away but there was still a high chance for it to return and Ichigo knew he might not be able to get him to calm down a second time.

Grimmjow stared at the ginger and still thought about walking out the door but decided against the action. He gave an exasperated sigh and collapsed on the chair. “Nel and I went to Menos primary school. It was fairly close to my old home allowing us to walk together in the mornings and afternoons. Nel was already 9 when I entered the school and she was popular because of her hair and eyes. Could also have been that everyone was attracted to her because of her friendly attitude towards them.”

“I also got attention from everyone due to my hair, which wasn’t always great. Everyone was so fuckin’ annoying I really felt like I just wanted to run away. Luckily, I found someone who didn’t give a fuck about my hair or eye color. Nnoitra Gilga was the bastard’s name. He had this creepy wide mouthed smile, scaring away all the other children. That made me all the happier to be friends with him, I was able to have some peace and quiet without some woman or child cooing about my appearance.”

“He wasn’t the most talkative but we got along fairly well. He once asked me about that ‘green haired hag’ thinking I would know her. I told him about her and that she was my sister. He just gave me blank look in return and one of his creepy smiles.” Grimmjow chuckled recalling the memory from his childhood.

“In my second year our group of two got bigger, sporting nine people.” A chuckle escaped Grimmjow’s lips and Ichigo could see he was somewhere far away at that moment. “I can still remember their faces and names as if it was yesterday. Our group or gang or whatever you want to call it drew quite a bit of attention but we were caught in our own world, too infatuated with each other’s conversations and too scared to look behind our makeshift barriers. There was a long, skinny boy with black hair, Shawlong Koufang. He usually kept to himself but we considered him the ‘wise’ one among us. Next there was Edrad Liones. He sported striking red hair; he was also a bit more tanned than most of the pale skinned children running around the school.” Ichigo gave a twitch of surprise at the mention of red hair. Memories flashed in his mind, bringing with them a searing pain that sank its claws into Ichigo’s heart. He allowed Grimmjow to continue.

“Then there was Ylfordt Grantz and his brother Szayelaporro. Szayel was the oddest of our group. He had pink hair and always thought himself better than the rest but whenever he talked to Nnoitra he had this subdued aura about him. Ylfordt was Ylfordt, he just followed us around not saying much.”

“The others, Di Roy Rinker and Nakeem Grindina, aren’t really worth mentioning. They were just around to kill time. Another boy named Tesla Lindocruz followed Nnoitra around like a puppy, always trying to find ways to win his approval or maybe just hold his attention for a few moments. Nnoitra wasn’t the expressive type, unless he got into a fight with someone. That’s the extent over our group. Never had much infighting between the guys though, but there were times things got unbearable for some of them.”

“When I was around 10 years old though, we had a fight that split the group in two. Nnoitra on one side, with Tesla and Szayel and me on the other end having to deal with Shawlong, Edrad, Yylfordt, Di Roy and Nakeem. Why they decided to come to me no one knows. My pride and ego skyrocketed. I became arrogant and self-centered ordering them around like some mafia boss.” Grimmjow couldn’t believe he was rattling on about all his memories from school to Kurosaki, but his mouth kept moving as if it had a will of its own. Fuck, it almost sounded like he trusted the ginger with his past.

He took a peek at Kurosaki’s face and was slightly alarmed at the man’s grimace twisting the normally neutral features, now pale and strained. He looked like the dead and his eyes were staring blankly ahead of him. Grimmjow thought about stopping but something urged him to keep going, to keep spilling his guts in front of the man he was supposed to despise. He told him about how Nel tried to get him to be more compassionate, tried to keep him humble. He never even lent an ear to his sister’s words, the words that came from a place of love and wisdom. It didn’t help that every girl tried to get his attention at every possible opportunity, be they older or younger, taken or free. But despite all his cockiness and prowess, he couldn’t help but feel inferior to the tall boy with the wide smile who he had called his first friend. _What the fuck? Did he really feel inferior…him? How did he only realize this now?_

As Ichigo listened to Grimmjow’s memories, a flashback of his own invaded his mind slamming his body with waves of guilt and despair. Before his memories plunged him into deeper depths, a subtle vibration alerted him that the session was over. Feeling hesitant to stop the man from continuing, he decided to listen to his story for a bit longer.

Grimmjow continued, telling his annoyingly patient therapist about how school days were easy for him at that stage and age. Girls did his homework for him and guys idolized him. Even at the tender age of 10 he was a cocky shit and he knew it. He trailed off and stopped talking…noticing the sudden change in Ichigo’s face.

Ichigo was startled out of his internal conflict by a sudden feeling of being watched. He raised his head found teal eyes locked onto his, searching for something that they couldn’t find. Ichigo gave Grimmjow a small smile, “It seems our time ran out on us.”

Ichigo’s voice gave Grimmjow a small fright, bringing him back to his surroundings. Grimmjow stood up and headed to the door. Ichigo followed closely behind.

“Thank you for opening up a bit today. I know it might be difficult for you to tell a total stranger about your past but I appreciate your trust and willingness to work with me. You need to know Grimmjow, no one is just ALL bad or All good. It isn’t as easy as black and white, there is grey all around us. It will get easier, I promise. Take care and be safe Grimmjow. I’ll see you next week.” With the last word he lightly rested his hand on Grimmjow’s shoulder and gave a light squeeze, trying to show support.

Looking at the sad sincere smile adorning Kurosaki’s face Grimmjow just gave a small nod and headed towards the reception. He didn’t give the receptionist a second glance as he headed outside, deciding a smoke would do his body wonders.

Ichigo sighed after Grimmjow left the room. Taking everything he heard into account Ichigo knew the worst was yet to come. He could feel anxiety gnawing at his stomach. He returned to his desk, prepared for his next client and wondered how he’d make it through the rest of the day.

***

Pulling up at his house he sat in the garage for a few moments, composing himself before he decided to climb out. He walked through the door that connected the garage and his home and heard voices. He hadn’t been told that they would be having guests today so he decided to stay quiet, listen and try to place the voice.

Several seconds passed before he entered the living room. Both pairs of green eyes gravitated towards him, giving him pause. He was surprised, to say the least, at the scene in front of him. Ulquiorra and his sister were having tea in their living room as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Nel sprang off the couch and padded towards her bother, encasing him in a crushing hug. “How’d it go?” the slight tremor of concern laced her voice.

“We didn’t do much. He only asked me to tell him about my days of being a snot nosed brat, but we didn’t get far before the timer went off.” He shrugged and gave Ulquiorra a small nod before he flopped down on the couch and left his sister standing where she had greeted him.

Rooted to the floor, Nel gave her brother a puzzled look before shuffling back and settling herself on the couch.

Sipping his tea slowly Ulquiorra regarded Grimmjow with slow blinking eyes, looking for any tell tales of change. The only thing he caught was a look of relief in the bigger man’s eyes. It was miniscule and vanished in a heartbeat, but it had been there.

He could clearly see that Grimmjow wanted to be left alone, so he continued with his conversation with Nel. “As I was saying, Orihime is doing quite well although I can see she is struggling to move around.”

Nel saw the small smile curving Ulquiorra’s lips. Seeing him this happy brought a splitting grin to her face.

“How long before the baby is born?” Nel asked, her voice overflowing with happiness.

Looking at Nel’s face, Ulquiorra sighed but the small smile still remained on his face, genuine even though he seemed tired. “Seven and a half months.” Pride filled his voice.

“Is it a boy or a girl?” Nel asked

“A boy.”

Nel gave the raven haired man a beaming smiling, launching into a one sided conversation filling the room with her over excited voice.

Later that afternoon Ulquiorra left saying he needed to get back to Orihime, his wife of 2 years.

After she had seen him out Nel headed back. She looked for her brother and found him in his room, lying on his bed with his back to her. She sat down on the side of his bed and started combing through his teal hair, knowing full well how it relaxed him when she did that.  

Without turning to face her, Grimmjow let out a heavy sigh and relaxed under his sister’s touch, waiting for the bottled questions to spill out.

“I’m glad you were able to tell someone other than me some part of your childhood. I just hope that in the end you can forgive yourself.” Grimmjow tensed at the last words, finding guilt worming its way back into his stomach.

Nel left her brother in his room and headed downstairs to pour herself a steaming cup of tea. She sat down on the porch and let her mind wander through their childhood.

***

At the Black Cat bar Ichigo and Shinji made themselves comfortable. Ichigo had a morose expression, making Shinji wonder what happened during the day to make him so wilted. Sighing Shinji took a sip of his drink.

“So… mind telling me who drowned your personality?” Still wracking his mind for some answer, Shinji knew that today was important but for some reason could not recall the reason.

Ichigo let a huge sigh slip from his lips and started combing his fingers through his wild hair as he shot Shinji a glance. He held his gaze for a few seconds before he decided to answer the questions he saw racing through his friend’s mind.

“It’s the anniversary of our break up today, and I had a certain patient of mine remind me of some unpleasant memories.” Deciding to tell Shinji his feelings of dread Ichigo began telling him of Grimmjow’s past. Not without reluctance but no matter how strong one person can be some release is necessary.

“I just have the feeling that whatever he told me today is just the beginning of something sinister.” Raising an eyebrow at Ichigo’s words, Shinji gave him a quizzical look.

“Every time I see him and we talk I have this feeling of dread and anxiousness. Like the ‘calm before the storm’ type of thing. It’s unnerving.” Ichigo gave a sigh after his response.

Shinji decided not to press for answers just yet and turned back to his drink, Hisagi-san throwing a reproachful glare his way.

Breathing a small chuckle, he turned back to his friend already dreading the conversation he had planned for today. He took a deep breath to calm his already tattered nerves and made an attempt to engage Ichigo in a very dangerous subject: LOVE.

“So Ichigo… you found anyone to keep your mind and body busy?” Ichigo snapped his head towards Shinji’s direction, flames of anger burning in his eyes.

“No! And I don’t intend to get someone,” Ichigo’s heavy scowl made its way onto his face.

“Come on Ichigo, you need to move on. You can’t be hung up on some guy forever, especially one who never loved you.” Instantly regretting his words Shinji placed his hand on his friend’s back, a silent apology for his harsh words. It just frustrated him to no end that this stubborn friend of his refused to be happy! If anyone deserved to be ridiculously, deliriously happy it was Ichigo. He decided to face the problem head on.

“Ichigo… listen. The only way you’ll get over that red pineapple is to find someone else. You can’t allow his actions to undermine your own happiness.” Looking Ichigo straight in the eye Shinji gave him what was supposed to be a comforting smile, but was probably closer to a lopsided grin.

“Who?” Ichigo asked in a broken voice.

“Who will love me when I’m this pathetic Shinji?” Looking at Shinji with broken eyes he couldn’t help but feel a terrible rage rising in his chest, because hell, no one should feel like this when talking about love, especially Ichigo.

“There’s lotsa fish in the sea Ichi, you just got to find the right one.” His hand still on Ichigo’s back, he tried his utmost best not to scare the broken man in front of him away by putting on any pressure. But for Pete’s sake, it had been two years already since that red baboon had crumpled his friend’s heart.

Suddenly the door opened to let in a new guest. The man was largely built, muscles rippling underneath his suit. Slightly taller than both seated males, his hair was a shade of silver, closely cropped to the sides of his head. To the many people on the street this man cut a striking figure. The eyes of men and women followed him as he walked past, admiring this handsome if slightly unapproachable man.

Scanning the room, Kensei spotted a familiar face. Shinji waved him over with a silent “Yo” mouthed by his lips. Kensei walked to his friend’s side. Signaling for the same drink, he observed the man next to Shinji, eyes and head downcast, shoulders slumped and leaning against the bar’s counter. He had this oppressive despondent aura around him, making it difficult for Kensei to find the right moment to try to introduce himself.

Seeing his friend at a loss for words Shinji cleared his throat and tried to catch the attention of Ichigo. Not seeing any response, he was about to try again when Ichigo slowly lifted his head and regarded them with dull brown eyes.

The look in the ginger’s eyes spurred Kensei on to introduce himself properly. “Kensei Muguruma, Shinji’s friend. It’s nice to finally meet you Kurosaki-san.”

Pulled out of his melancholy Ichigo raised an eyebrow at the newcomer but responded to the silver headed stranger. “Kurosaki Ichigo, a pleasure meeting you too.” Turning a silent, questioning and severely skeptical glance in Shinji’s direction he received a shrug and a small smile. Sighing inwardly Ichigo resigned himself to the rest of the evening.

***

Ulquiorra had a long day today. Closing his eyes after he pulled into his garage he let out a heavy sigh. Sitting there for several seconds he collected enough energy to make his way out of the car and into the house.

“Tadaima, Orihime.” Hearing his wife speaking on the phone he went towards the living room. He saw her sitting on the couch, the television playing in the background and a smile playing on her lips as she was talking to Tatsuki, her childhood friend.

Standing in the doorway a little longer, he watched her talking animatedly to the girl she grew up with, responding with giggles and outright laughter sometimes. He walked to their room depositing his belongings in their rightful places before going back to the kitchen.

A soft and gentle voice made its way to him. “Okairi, Ulquiorra-kun.” Walking towards the voice he smiled a small smile at her. He gave her a soft, lingering kiss on the lips before he mumbled a soft tadaima again.

Straightening again he took in her heavy pregnant body and his smile grew wider. Orihime gave him a blinding smile in return. He bent down slightly to touch their foreheads together as he rested his hand on her swollen belly. She was by far the most beautiful thing that he had ever laid eyes on.

“How hungry are you? Do you want me to make you some dinner?” His voice was soft and extremely gentle. His hand didn’t move from its spot.

Giggling at him she answered,” If you don’t start making dinner now I’ll most likely eat you whole.” Laughing at his amused expression she patted him on his cheek. Their son decided then that he would wake up and start using his mother’s organs as a jungle gym.

Letting out a pained breath Orihime tried placating their little monster by rubbing her hand on her tummy. Ulquiorra stood there, pride filling his entire body as _their_ son kicked against his outstretched hand.

Humming at his son’s actions he headed to the kitchen and started preparing dinner for his hungry wife and son.

***

 Standing in front of the kitchen’s counter the two men prepared their evening meal with music playing softly in the background. Humming and swaying to the more modern collection of their music was Kisuke, busy cutting vegetables for some variety in their side dishes. He knew his Sousuke wasn’t very fond of all the greenery, but told him it was good for his health.

Glancing to the side he spotted Sousuke preparing the miso soup and also dishing out the rice, sprinkling some furikake over it. Kisuke deposited the vegetables in the pot and waited for it to properly cook before dishing it out on small plates. He also placed sashimi pieces on the waiting plates and carried his charges to the dinner table.

Taking a seat, he waited for his lover to come and join him.

Bringing the rice with him Sousuke sat down and gave Kisuke a small smile. Clapping their hands together and mumbling a quick “itadakimasu” they started in on their dinner, both starving after a long day at work.

They were quiet for most of the time but when Kisuke was done with his meal, tummy fully satisfied, he opted to be quite talkative even by his standards.

Engaging each other in small talk, they passed the time in pleasant conversation, which consisted mostly of Kisuke’s voice filling the room. Not that Sousuke minded in the least. One of the reasons they worked so well together was that he was more than happy to sit back and listen to Kisuke ramble on, especially because of the way his lips moved when he spoke.  After finishing the dishes and cleaning the kitchen both men headed to the bathroom, intending to fulfill their daily ritual of bathing together. While waiting for the water to fill the tub, Sousuke came up behind his blonde counterpart, having decided he was in the mood to help him undress. As Kisuke’s clothing fell to the floor one by one, he let his hands roam the body that they knew so well. They traced the lean shoulders, moving down with feather light touches on either side of the spine before they came to rest on either side of the slim waist. Kisuke turned around, surprised to find that Aizen had relieved himself of all clothing before stepping into the bathroom.

He always marveled at the tall brunette’s toned figure, oh how weak he had always been to resist, even from the very beginning! He looked up into the soft brown eyes, seeing love, adoration and…something else. When Sousuke pulled him closer, he identified the look that he hadn’t seen in far too long: complete and utter longing. Sousuke had been working so hard, most nights he was too tired to respond to Kisuke’s not too subtle hints, but tonight was different.

 Not needing any more motivation, Kisuke pulled his lover’s face towards his and kissed him gently at first, but before long Aizen’s pent up lust and frustration came bursting through. Abandoning all restraint, Sousuke let his hands and mouth do as they pleased. Roughly kissing, biting and exploring the lips, neck and shoulders of the man that held his heart and the sounds that escaped the blonde’s lips only motivated and encouraged him. The love that they made was wild and passionate, yet intimate at the same time. They reveled in each other, steam and sweat causing their skin to glisten and their hair to stick to their scalps.

When it was over both were breathing hard, surprise mixed with satisfaction written all over Kisuke’s face Aizen’s legs still wrapped around Kisuke’s waist, his weight supported by the conveniently sized bathroom cabinet that stood next to their basin. Aizen suddenly looked shocked and looked down at the overflowing bathwater covering the tiles. A laugh bubbled out of Kisuke’s mouth as Sousuke unwrapped himself and turned off the water flowing from the tap.

“Dibs on not cleaning the bathroom floor” came Kisuke’s chiding voice, still half breathless.

“Technically this was your fault, so it would only be fair for you to do the cleaning Kisuke.” Came Sousuke’s dry response, but it was accompanied by a genuine smile. He never let himself go like that, but he felt it was something that he needed as much as he had wanted it. 

“How on earth is this my fault, if I may ask dearest?” said Kisuke with a half pout as he sauntered up to Sousuke’s side, planting a soft kiss on his shoulder.

Aizen just smirked and bent down for another soft kiss before getting into the bath and pulling Kisuke in to join him. “I love you” came the soft whisper as Kisuke leaned into him, more water splashing onto the floor.

“I love you more ‘Suke.”  

All clean and freshly out of the bath both men climbed into bed, Aizen snuggling against Kisuke’s chest. Kisuke pulled Aizen tighter against his chest and gave the back of his neck a goodnight kiss.

***

Ichigo and the rest of his friends chatted the night away. His body relaxed into the familiar atmosphere and his worries and pain slid back into the dark corners of his mind. He was not in the least bothered by the man coming down the alley way and heading towards the bar. As the man breached the interior of the room he noticed the three men sitting at the bar counter.

Taking notice of the ginger on the right side, he felt dread worming its way into his mind. With a small voice he reached out to him, “Ichigo…?”.

Snapping his head to the voice from the door Ichigo’s eyes went wide from disbelief. Grief, pain and a fiery anger flashed across his face. “ Renji…?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed reading this piece. Please leave a comment if something was bothering you!! Ja matahashita


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not going to say much but I do hope you'll enjoy it. I took a bit longer to write this chapter, university and writer's block can be awful if they are mixed together... Also forgive us if we missed anything. My mind seems to auto correct words and sentences without my notice!!

_Previously on Words:_

_Ichigo and the rest of his friends chatted the night away. His body relaxed into the familiar atmosphere and his worries and pain slid back into the dark corners of his mind. He was not in the least bothered by the man coming down the alley way and heading towards the bar. As the man breached the interior of the room he noticed the three men sitting at the bar counter._

_Taking notice of the ginger on the right side, he felt dread worming its way into his mind. With a small voice he reached out to him, “Ichigo…?”._

_Snapping his head to the voice from the door Ichigo’s eyes went wide from disbelief. Grief, pain and a fiery anger flashed across his face. “Renji…?”_

***

The first emotion Ichigo felt was anger, his heart hammering against his chest and his blood singing in his ears. That was soon replaced by heart breaking sorrow, as all the painful memories came back, flooding his senses with his hard forgotten past. Staring at the red head he couldn’t help but notice his tired eyes. He also noticed Renji wearing a suit, his tie slightly loosened giving his strong neck some room to breathe. His hair was shorter now as when he last saw him but was still pulled back into a neat ponytail. He had his black jacket thrown over his arm revealing his muscular body beneath the white long sleeved shirt he was wearing. A wave of longing crashed over Ichigo as he remembered their nights together as if it was only yesterday. His mind was a total mess. He was definitely not ready to face Renji, even after all this time.

Renji could feel a murderous stare on him, he knew it wasn’t Ichigo’s because his eyes were staring at the floor. His eyes wandered around until he landed on two rock hard brown eyes. A sneer twisted the man’s face as if Renji was the plague and had to be avoided. He was also a hand breath away from Ichigo, his arm protecting Ichigo from Renji’s presence. Renji couldn’t help his anger rise at the site of them so close but reminded himself that he has no right to get angry after what he did to Ichigo so long ago.

Taking a step back Renji just wanted to get out, no longer in the mood for a drink. His back was turned away from the group at the bar and he was heading towards the exit when Ichigo called after him, “Wait!!” Stopping in his tracks Renji couldn’t believe his ears. Standing in front of the door, his fists clenched and his back still turned, he waited but for what he did not know.

As Renji waited in front of the door at Ichigo’s soft spoken command Shinji shot Ichigo an incredulous look. Ichigo got up and walked towards the red head ignoring his friend’s strangled protests. Walking past the man he headed outside into the cold and crisp air of an autumn night. Stopping and waiting for Renji to catch up Ichigo tried formulating a conversation without him crying and shouting at the stupid pineapple. A few seconds passed by but felt like an eternity to Ichigo. He heard soft taps of leather shoes against the alleyway’s concrete alerting him to the other’s presence.

Renji walked towards Ichigo, scared of him running away any second now. Keeping his distance from him he stopped a few feet short of the ginger’s back. Wracking his brain on how to start the conversation he was shocked out of his internal conflict by Ichigo’s voice.

“You look tired.”

It was more of a question mixed in with a statement. Releasing a sigh Renji couldn’t help but smile at Ichigo’s caring nature.

“The company had some deadlines to meet and we had some overnight shifts. This is the first time in two days I’m allowed to go home.”

Turning around Ichigo still kept his eyes on the ground, not wanting to look the man in the eye. He feared his emotions might get the better of him if he did so. Renji saw Ichigo shift from one foot to another and play with the hem of his shirt. Seeing him so nervous did not make Renji feel any better at all.

“How have you been?” asked Renji tentatively hoping they could keep their conversation civil at best.

“I’ve been better but I can’t complain,” replied Ichigo softly. Lifting his head Ichigo steeled himself against the raging tide of emotions swirling inside his chest and looked the red head in the eye. Guilt was literally flowing off Renji in waves giving Ichigo a slight start. His eyes were a dull brown and partially lifeless, the once raging fire now completely extinguished. He remembered Renji as a proud and stubborn idiot who never apologized but used actions to make up for his mistakes no matter how trivial they were. Looking at the man in front of him stirred the dark embrace of anger in the pit of Ichigo’s stomach. Partially at the things that happened in the past but the brunt of it was at directed at the person who made Renji look so… so lifeless. Clenching his fists to control himself, Ichigo tried to find the man he once knew.

Looking at Ichigo now Renji could not believe he betrayed him. Thinking back at all the wonderful times they had together and how he destroyed it all made his knees go weak but luckily he caught himself before he fell on the ground.

Alarmed at Renji’s sudden movement Ichigo immediately moved to catch him but was stopped by the red head’s hand.

“Thanks but I’m okay, just a bit tired.” Renji gave Ichigo a small tired smile as if to placate the worried eyes and deep frown on the ginger’s face.

They were so caught up in their own world that they didn’t notice teal eyes watching them from the shadows. Grimmjow was never one to stalk people but the ginger suddenly popping out of a doorway made him scramble for the shadows as fast as he could without making a loud racket.

Watching the two men intently, Grimmjow couldn’t help but notice the heavy tension in the air around them.

Kurosaki and the other man were standing close to the wall on the far side of the alleyway, permitting Grimmjow to watch the two without any obstructions, like watching the most fascinating play he’s ever seen in his life. He knew that he should probably turn away and get out of there like a bat straight out of hell, but his feet were rooted to the spot, eyes unwavering on the face of the man who’s spent the last weeks trying to help him heal whatever was broken inside of him.

Grimmjow was confused to say the very least, not knowing why he was interested in the ginger’s personal life. He looked away angrily, the stupid ginger randomly made his way into Grimmjow’s thoughts without his permission,no invitation, no want or need to have him there! None!! _Oh is that so dumbass?_ After his introspection he turned back to watch the two men from his hiding spot. Kurosaki’s face had an awkward smile pasted onto it, but was different to that fake smile he always wore when they saw each other. It was a warm and sincere smile only showed to a selected few, _just who is this man?_ Looking at the red head he noticed he was looking down and his hand was stroking the back of his neck, a goofy smile on his face. Not knowing the relationship between the two Grimmjow could only guess but that meant squat.

Deciding to stay a bit longer he saw Kurosaki’s awkward smile slip off his face only to be replaced with tears forming at the sides of his eyes. Shocked he watched as the red head start waving his hands around as to explain something or to console him but that only made it worse. Tears streaming down his cheeks Kurosaki started talking back, his voice rising in volume but not enough for Grimmjow to hear. Kurosaki was clearly very angry, he walked passed the red head but the other man grabbed his arm. Grimmjow could see the right hook coming from Kurosaki, lightning fast and deadly accurate. _What the fuck? Ichigo? Violent?_ He watched transfixed as his fist connected with the red head’s face. To his surprise, the man just stood there with an expression mixed between absolute shock and sheer pain, and not from being punched. It’s as if that fist smashed into his heart rather than his face, drawing something out to the surface that had been shoved way down for a long time.

Kurosaki stood panting in front of the red head, clearly whatever he said was not what he wanted to hear. The door where Kurosaki peeled out crashed open with a very dramatic flair, emitting a blonde haired man with a very angry scowl into the alleyway. He took a brisk walk towards Ichigo, ignoring the man as if his existence was nothing more than an inconvenience, a little lifesucking parasite that deserved no more attention than a mosquito. He led Ichigo back to the bar, his amber eyes full of grief so heavy that they gravitated to the floor and his feet numbly just followed the blonde, leaving the red head staring into the space where Kurosaki stood moments before. Covering his eyes, the red head angrily brushed away unwanted tears.

Deciding it’s time to leave Grimmjow walked away from the alleyway, his brain in overdrive from the events that just played out in front of him like a secret movie he absolutely was not supposed to see. They say curiosity killed the cat but they forgot that cats had nine lives. A smirk made its way onto Grimmjow’s face scaring the person that walked past him. _Now this is gonna be fun,_ Grimmjow thought to himself.

Back in the bar Ichigo literally flew into his chair, Kensei at an absolute loss for words after what had happened but one look at Ichigo’s face said enough. His cheeks were wet and his eyes red and swollen from his continuous stream of tears still pouring out of his eyes. His face was strained as if his mind was racing through too many thoughts all at the same time, trying to grab hold of them but not quite managing it. Looking at Hisagi he only got a shrug of his shoulders and a concerned look directed at the ginger, worry written over every feature. Catching Shinji pacing the bar Kensei walked over to the agitated man, needing to be able to do something to help, anything.

“What happened out there and who is that man Shinji?” asked Kensei, concern seeping into his voice.

Startled at the sudden voice Shinji scowled at Kensei, “A discussion for another time Sei, right now I need to figure out a way for Ichigo not to drink himself stupid.”

Eyebrows rising at this remark Kensei tilted his head in a questioning manner.

Shinji sighed and shook his head in a way to say _also another time_ at Kensei.

Shrugging his shoulders, Kensei readied himself for a long night out.

 

 

***

Groaning Ichigo tried to hide his face beneath the duvet of his bed but the sudden movement brought on its own onset of consequences. His breath became shallow and he was ready to lay the contents of his stomach out on the floor. Deciding to keep himself from moving he laid on his back and waited for FUCKING EVERYTHING to stop spinning. Soft taps echoed in the wooden hallway, outside his room, but as soon as the door opened and an over cheery Shinji stepped in he relaxed.

“Good morning I~chi~goooo.” Shinji sang out his name in that annoying manner of his.

“Let me die please,” replied Ichigo through gritted teeth.

“Is that the thanks I get for haulin’ your ass all the way home when you could barely walk?” asked Shinji in a mocking tone, his face pulled into an expression of fake hurt.

“Fuck you. You could’ve left me there, I’m sure Shuuhei would not have minded.” Wincing from the vibrations his voiced made Ichigo wanted nothing more than to die but all that alcohol couldn’t and didn’t make him forget yesterday. _Renji why do you have to appear when I’m finally getting some closure?_ Sighing to himself Ichigo tried to get to a sitting position, Shinji’s hands supporting him and placed a glass of water and a painkiller into his hands. Ichigo had never loved his friend more than right then.

Drinking the painkiller and finishing the glass of water Ichigo looked at Shinji. He felt the slight underlying tension in the room and looking at his friend he saw the hidden uncertainty behind overly cheerful brown eyes. Letting out a sigh he prepared to get ready for his day at work and the most important thing now was to go shower.

Discarding his clothes as he headed to his en suite bathroom he turned the knob of the warm water and let it warm for a few seconds before stepping under the shower head, letting the soothing spray run down his entire body, focusing on the warmth it was spreading down the length of his spine. His muscles relaxed and untangled under the warmth of the water. Sighing in frustration he could not stop the previous night’s memories from flooding into his mind like a landslide, only seeking to cause pain and destruction as far as it goes.

*

_“I’m sorry Ichigo, I was stupid and with you being so busy I got bored and… agh I tried but you were already so far away and I was waiting for you for so long,” blurted Renji, trying with no luck to tell the man in front of him ‘sorry’._

_Ichigo couldn’t believe his ears, “My fault?” he whispered almost to himself. Snapping his head towards Renji, his eyes glowing amber, murderously angry. “MY fault… how dare you. I asked you, you lied, you said you were okay, you said you were happy,” stabbing his index finger at Renji’s chest each time to punctuate ‘you’ a furious scowl on his face and tears streaming down his flushed cheeks._

_“No Renji, you betrayed me with some chick you met at that square and now you want to blame me for what happened,” stated Ichigo in a barely audible voice while shaking his head._

_“I should get back and you should get back to whomever is waiting for you,” said Ichigo, his eyes filled with grief._

_“Ichigo… please give me a chance, all that was a mistake, please…” pleaded Renji in a broken voice. Grasping Ichigo’s passing arm he tried to hold him back, tried to hold him **here** just for a moment more, the touch sending electric bolts up Renji’s fingers._

_Ichigo spun around and punched Renji in his face, the sound echoing throughout the alley and in his ears like gunfire. “Don’t fucking touch me,” gritted Ichigo, his nostrils flaring and his pupils narrowed inside his amber eyes, glowing like smoldering embers in a dying fire._

_Grabbing his cheek Renji was too shocked to even talk. A flash of blond hair moved in front of him and whisked Ichigo from under him leaving him alone in the alleyway._

_“Fuck!”_

_*_

A voice startled Ichigo out of his flashback.

Sighing Shinji stood in the doorway waiting for Ichigo to come around.

“You should stop day dreaming and come eat breakfast or you’ll be late,” said Shinji.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” whispered Ichigo. Closing off the stream of water he climbed out of the shower. After drying and clothing himself he headed downstairs towards where Shinji waited for him, but it was difficult to muster up anything close to enthusiasm at the day that lay ahead. Pulling a chair out to sit at the kitchen table he observed the breakfast prepared by his friend. Nothing too fancy but still edible and plenty enough for the both of them.

Seating himself at the table Shinji gave Ichigo a quick glance. His eyes were a bit red from yesterday’s debacle but that was the extent of the physical exertion of yesterday, though he knew that Ichi was an expert at hiding the emotional turmoil that would be rampaging inside of him, a hurricane set free to rumble over the delicate planes of his heart. Knowing Ichigo his brain was in a perpetual state of activity.

“So… you wanna tell me how you feel after yesterday?” asked Shinji, his voice barely above a whisper to prevent his friend’s tender head from exploding, but his concern was too much for him to keep quiet.

“My head hurts like a bitch and I need another 3 hours of sleep,” replied Ichigo, wincing from his own voice, his eyes on the food in front of him.

Rolling his eyes Shinji let out a sigh, _this is not going to be easy,_ he thought to himself.

“Don’t beat around the bush Ichigo, you know what I mean,” stated Shinji, giving Ichigo a deadpan look as if to say, _do I look stupid._

Sighing Ichigo looked at Shinji with tired eyes.

“What do you want me to say? How would you feel if your ex decided to fall out of the sky and then try to blame you for him cheating on you and ask for another chance because,and I quote, _‘it was all a mistake?’”_ His voice took on an incredulous tone serving to aggravate his already flaring temper. Remembering it now just made him want to go back and punch Renji in the face again just to make himself feel better.

Staring at Ichigo vent made Shinji realize just how bad the situation is. Shinji let out a very deep, very heavy, very _dramatic_ sigh and started eating, he motioned for Ichigo to do the same before their breakfast went cold.

After eating they both sat at the table wondering what to do about the tension in the air, like two little kids looking around at EVERYTHING except each other as if ignoring it will make it go away, protected from the monster under the bed by the blanket of silence.

A sigh broke the blanket and Ichigo raked his hand through his hair, tugging on the strands out of frustration.

“I’m sorry… I know it’s not your fault and you’re just trying to help but I just don’t feel like talking about it now,” pleaded Ichigo.

Waving Ichigo’s concern away Shinji just gave him a lopsided grin and took the dishes from the table and headed towards the kitchen.

“You should get ready to leave otherwise you’ll be late for work. I’ll clean and lock up after I’m done.”

Looking at the clock on the wall made Ichigo scramble out of his chair, nearly falling over his own feet with haste. As he ran out the door he shouted a “Thanks Shin!!” at Shinji and went on his way.

Shinji smiled to himself and started cleaning, whistling the tune of “Blue Moon” as he went about his work.

***

Rolling onto his back Grimmjow stared at the white ceiling of his room, contemplating the possibility of him going insane. Why you ask? Well for one he couldn’t sleep because a certain crying ginger wormed his way into his dreams, making his sleep very uncomfortable and fitful which left his already natural fiery temper raging. Clicking his tongue in annoyance he sat up and rubbed at his itching eyes. Swaying his feet over the edge of the bed he got up and headed towards his closet.

Relieving himself of his pajamas he pulled on sweatpants and a sleeveless shirt. Sitting down on the edge of the bed again he put on some running shoes, maybe some physical exertion would leave his mind too tired to remember tears and punches and red everything. Red eyes, red hair and red anger at the hurt in strawberry’s every motion. _Why do you care so much? Shut up, just shut UP!_ Heading downstairs he heard that his sister was already bustling around in the kitchen, typical.

“Yo”

To a stranger the slight twitch in Nel’s shoulder would not have meant a thing but for Grimmjow it meant he successfully scared her, which meant that try as he might he couldn’t keep the cocky grin off his face. Oh who was he kidding? He wasn’t trying for shit.  

Turning around Nel gave her brother a chilly smile.

“Morning Grimmjow, you’re up early.”

Freezing mid step at his sister’s voice, he started to back away with his hands raised in an appeasing manner, ready to tuck his tail between his legs and run outta there.

“Ah… sorry Nel. I did not mean to scare you,” said Grimmjow, slightly shaking at his sister’s cold stare.

 Nel forgave her brother with a huffed exhale and a slight warming of her demeanor, _very_ slight. She knew it was an accident and decided not to punish the blue haired menace. Turning back to the kitchen counter she started to hum to herself.

Taking that as forgiveness and permission to leave Grimmjow headed out of the house. As he exited the front gate he started jogging, he hit a medium pace at first just to get into it. He ran to the nearest park which was about 3 kilometers away from his home.

He rarely goes jogging but today he needed the fresh air and he also needed to feel his muscles ache from the exertion. He needs to get rid of these useless thoughts and the crying face of Kurosaki. Panting from the run he stopped and rested, waiting for his racing breathing and thrumming heart to return to its normal steady rhythm. Stretching his burning leg muscles he noticed the crisp and clean breeze washing over him and calming his racing heart. Returning home he decided to slack off on the speed and took a more leisured pace.

Stepping through their front door he smelled breakfast was already being made and his stomach roiled in response to the heavenly smells emanating from the kitchen. Heading upstairs he made his way to the shower to let the warm water wash over his body wishing it would wash away the scene from yesterday’s encounter. Finishing quickly, he dried and dressed himself and headed to the kitchen to see what was for breakfast.

Nel observed her brother as he entered the kitchen. His hair was still damp from his shower and he looked slightly less annoyed now compared to when he woke up this morning. Dishing out their breakfast Nel joined her brother at the table but try as she might she could not place her brother’s unusual behavior. The only thing she did know was that when he came back home yesterday he was in an irksome attitude, even more so than usual, which says a lot.

“You mind telling me why you decided to go running today?”

Freezing momentarily at her words Grimmjow tried to give her a nonchalant look before replying, “I just wanted to go for a run t’s all.” He ducked his head, hoping his sister would leave it at that but to no avail.

“Really? I believe the only time you go running is when you got something on your mind,” honey dripped from her innocent tone sending a cold shiver down Grimmjow’s spine, _this is definitely not good._

 Grimmjow groaned inwardly and placed his utensils on the plate before looking into his sister’s hazel eyes.

“Is it that bad?” asked Nel, concern evident in her voice.

“Is it because of the counseling?”

“No it has nothing to do with that… it’s just… I don’t know…” he sighed in frustration tugged on the strand of teal hair that fell onto his forehead.

“Grimmjow, it’s better to talk about things, rather than bottling them up,” said Nel.

“It’s much easier to talk about something if the person actually knows what to talk about,” whispered a frustrated Grimmjow.

“It’s nothing serious I’ll sort it out,” said Grimmjow giving Nel a lopsided grin.

Nel sighed because she knew her brother was really stubborn at times and it seemed that he wanted to deal with this himself.

“All right I’ll leave this for now but please, if you feel you want to talk I’ll be right here,” replied Nel.

Grimmjow was never good at receiving affection because it always made him embarrassed. Giving a slight nod to his sister he received a blinding smile. He always thought his sister was naïve and ignorant, but even after their parents passed away she still retained that innocent and blinding smile. Though he had seen her cry in the shadows.

When they were still children Nel had the tendency to crawl into his bed. One night she did the same but he felt the grip on his body was tighter than normal and the warm wet tears that stained his back was all he needed to know that his sister was putting on a façade for everyone else but could not stop the tears when they were alone at night.

Pushing himself off the chair he carried his dirty plate to the washing basin and dropped it in. He headed upstairs to get ready for his session with Kurosaki. He was determined to find out about yesterday’s incident, if not the damn memory would never stop bugging him. Clicking his tongue in annoyance, he headed towards the car and pulled it out of the garage. Memories of yesterday still replayed inside his mind, a never ending cycle of Kurosaki crying and yelling at this mysterious red haired man.

Fuck!! This was driving him insane… Why couldn’t this fucking image just disappear. Punching at the dashboard and cursing to whomever was listening Grimmjow vented his anger out in the car.

***

Ichigo was sitting behind his desk, his thoughts were still in turmoil due to yesterday’s disastrous meeting with Renji. Still very deep in thought he almost didn’t hear the knock on his door, but he was pulled out of his thoughts momentarily at least and he called for the person to enter.

As the door cracked open a bright shock of blue hair, he could never quite get used to, stepped inside, beautiful blue eyes not at peace in the slightest. Ichigo always thought that his own hair was weird but now looking at the man entering his office he couldn’t help but feel slightly sympathetic towards him. Smiling to himself as he contemplated the man’s appearance he didn’t notice the annoyed look that was directed towards him.

Stopping in front of Kurosaki’s desk he saw the ginger’s eyes were slightly dazed as if he was on another planet, giving Grimmjow a chance to properly study the man in front of him for the first time in a while. Dark circles were resting beneath his eyes and his hair was slightly duller in comparison to the normally bright and vibrant sunny orange. His skin seemed pale and his face was strained as if he hadn’t slept well… if at all. His eyes were now devoid of emotion and empty where they were normally soft and caring. Grimmjow cleared his throat to snap the ginger out of his internal musings.

Ichigo closed his eyes for a second and then lifted his head to meet sky blue eyes staring down at him, cold and unyielding as steel.

“Good morning Grimmjow, I hope you have been doing well this past week that we haven’t seen each other?” asked Ichigo, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth in an attempt to seem more welcoming.

Clicking his tongue, “I’ve been better, but you seem worse for wear,” stated Grimmjow.

Ichigo’s eyes widened at the statement, he did not think that someone, especially not Grimmjow, would pick up on his state of mind and his physical exhaustion. He starts to wonder if he somehow pegged Grimmjow up on wrong washing line. Is it possible this man actually cares about someone other than his sister? He didn’t make it very obvious that he was able to feel concern for anyone else in any of their sessions together. Shaking his head as if to rid himself of those useless thoughts he smiled back at Grimmjow.

“I’ve had some trouble sleeping yesterday but I assure you that it won’t interfere with your time here,” replied Ichigo trying to convince Grimmjow but maybe he needed more convincing than his patient.

Holding back a sigh and trying to keep the tiredness out of his expression, he motioned for Grimmjow to take a seat on the chaise lounge. His thoughts were still in turmoil about Renji but it could not and would not interfere with his work, he owed his patient that much.

Walking over to the chair Grimmjow laid down and made himself comfortable. His anticipation made his heart beat slightly faster than normal. He knew that today would be the day that he told Kurosaki about what happened in his childhood. He thought that he would feel more resentment and anger towards himself but surprisingly he could not get to that point of self-loathing any more. To be perfectly honest with himself, he was actually looking forward to tell someone else about what happened but he would never admit to it out loud.

“I believe you told me about your friends from elementary school and how all the other children and adults treated you, if you want you could start there but before we do, do you have any questions you would like to ask me?” asked Ichigo, his voice warm and inquisitive.

His heart almost exploded at the question but he didn’t want to give in to his burning curiosity. Inhaling deep breaths, he tried to calm his raging heart but it seemed the silence was concerning the ginger.

“Grimmjow… are you all right?” asked Ichigo, voice warm and sweet like oozing honey.

Grunting in confirmation he steeled himself for his own questions. If he delved into Ichigo’s life and started asking personal things, it would most probably fling the doors wide open on his own personal life and all the skeletons would come waltzing through like a parade of past nightmares.

“Yeah I have a question but I don’t know if you would answer me truthfully…” letting the statement hang in the air he waited for a response from Kurosaki.

Letting out a small but nervous chuckle Ichigo replied, “You won’t know if you don’t ask.”

Shrugging his shoulders Grimmjow charged head first into his interrogation, nerves twisting his gut like a restless snake afraid of being approached, trying to hide closer to his spine.

“It’s about yesterday… I saw you and a red headed man arguing in the alleyway and I want to know who that man is and what your relationship is with him.” The words spilled from his mouth in a much harsher way than he intended but fuck it, he had no intention to coddle or console the man. Then why did he feel his heart lurch at the hurt in those dark eyes?

The silence in the room was deafening as Grimmjow waited for Kurosaki to respond and as the seconds ticked by, Grimmjow grew more and more uncomfortable until he couldn’t take it anymore. As he made to turn around he heard an audible gulp from the ginger, effectively freezing him on the spot. As he listened for any telltale signs he could only hear their breathing until Ichigo decided to speak.

“So it was you watching us…? Can’t believe one of my patients caught me in such an embarrassing moment…” Silence invaded the room again as Ichigo tried to prepare himself.

“He was my boyfriend from the time I was in high school… we also knew each other from elementary school but unfortunately we… broke up after we got to college.”

Grimmjow could hear that Kurosaki’s voice was strained, trying with all his might to keep the pain away, which was mildly successful but not completely. Now replaying the scene in his mind made some sense, as if a missing puzzle piece was added to the picture.

“Anything else you would like to know?” asked Ichigo, tinges of despair laced into the question.

“Nah… I’m fine for now doc.”

Sighing Ichigo observed the tense figure lying on the lounge in front of him. He thought they were being watched, people always stop to look when there is drama in public, but never in all his life would he have imagined that it was Grimmjow. Shaking his head to try to realign his thoughts neatly into a row again like the good little ducks they were supposed to be, he quickly scanned over the list of things they already discussed previously.

“Grimmjow… would you mind telling me something about your parents? “asked Ichigo tentatively. As the words left his mouth the man on the lounge froze, not even his chest could be seen moving. His jaw clenched so hard Ichigo swore he could hear teeth grinding from where he sat, the once impassive eyes now an ocean of icy turmoil.

Alarmed at the sudden reaction, Ichigo called out to Grimmjow, trying to soothe rather than startle him. “Grimmjow… are you all right?” The silence in the room made Ichigo uncomfortable, he could even hear the sounds of traffic outside. Opening his mouth to speak he was interrupted by the shattering of silence.

“Their names… their names were Ayane… and Hayato.” Grimmjow was reluctant to speak their names because he has no right to speak about them, no right to even call himself their son. His guilt was swelling in his chest and threatening to drown him in despair and longing… yearning for things to have turned out so differently. His breathing became quicker then, flashes of red ambulance lights seared through his mind reminding him of the blood he saw when he came to.

Trying to shake these painful memories away he failed to notice the ginger hovering over him and calling out to him in palpable concern.

“Grimmjow, oi Grimmjow! You need to slow down your breathing!”

“Look at me Grimmjow, look at me!!” Dread and panic invaded Ichigo’s body, never had he seen panic attacks this bad. He first needed to get Grimmjow to concentrate on something else other than the memory he was having then. Thinking back at the things people found comforting in these type of situations he ended up going with physical contact. Looking at the anguished man in front of him, eyes and mind somewhere else entirely, he had no time to second guess his methods. Reaching out and pulling the man to his chest he tried placating Grimmjow but he was resisting.

Whispering into his ear that everything was going to be okay and that right then Grimmjow needed to listen to his voice. Strong arms circled around Ichigo’s waist and tightened to a near choking grip. _At least he is responding now,_ he thought, the pain and surprise a secondary concern on his mind.

“They died because of me, it’s all my fault…” whispered Grimmjow in a very small and broken voice that was so raspy and strained with grief it almost brought tears to Ichigo’s eyes.

Shocked Ichigo did not know what to say so he remained silent to encourage the man in his arms to continue.

Tightening his grip further Grimmjow continued in a subdued voice.

“I… fell ill during school one day. I tried to hide it. I hated making my parents worry about me. They were so kind, and so loving. My mom would have totally overreacted if she found out and would have kept me in bed for the whole week, nursing me and taking care of me. I knew she was really busy at work and didn’t have the time, but she would make the time. But when I lost consciousness the teacher decided to call for my parents. When I came to, my father was carrying me and my mother was by his side glancing at me with worried eyes. She was the first one to see me open my eyes… you should have seen the smile she gave me, it was blinding.”

Each word was weighted, heavy and dripping with self-loathing. Ichigo could only sit and listen to the story.

“She was comforting me the whole way after that, whispering words of encouragement and consolation. I let my eyes drift closed once more, an encouraging squeeze from my father accompanying me to my dreams.”

“It was raining heavily that day. The water falling from the sky and forming a white wall of rain.” Burying his head into the crook of Kurosaki’s neck he gritted out the last of his past.

“I awoke in an ambulance car, sirens were blaring and people were rushing about. I was extremely confused and I couldn’t see my parents close by so naturally I started to panic. During my panic attack I caught a glimpse of the remnants of a car which was vaguely familiar but I could not place where I had seen it.”

“I… later found out that my parents died in a car crash and I was the only survivor. I did not believe them… how could I? I was being driven home by them only a few minutes before.”

Lifting his head and piercing Ichigo’s eyes with blue irises swimming in inconsolable anguish and guilt, Grimmjow continued in a broken voice. “Do you know the guilt I felt? It was all my fault… If I wasn’t sick they would have no need to come pick me up but because of me Nel and I lost both our parents.”

Tears were now coursing down Grimmjow’s cheeks. Immense guilt and grief was weighing him down like a monster that was clinging onto has back and only grew larger and stronger with each passing year his parents weren’t around.

Ichigo tightened his hold on the bluenette trying his best to comfort him. He felt helpless and completely at a loss for words. Knowing the suffering Grimmjow must have had through his life, blaming himself for the death of his parents and carrying a burden this large around made Ichigo’s heart clench in sympathy.

He knew the feeling of losing someone dear to him, as his mother passed away when he was fairly young, making the then small him go through the same phase of self-loathing the man in his arms now felt.

“I can’t tell you how sorry I am to hear about your parents Grimmjow but I personally cannot think that they would blame you for their passing. I believe they loved you very much and that would be the last thing on their minds,” whispered Ichigo while carding through the blue strands of hair in an attempt to calm him down, noting somewhere in his mind how unbelievably soft the strands felt under his touch.

They sat like that for about 15 minutes, Grimmjow not letting go of Ichigo for the fear of the memories returning. Ichigo was like a beacon of light in his very dark life right then and he needed that light to keep him from giving in to the darkness and sinking down to the depths of it, drowning and losing himself to it.

After collecting the remains of his composure Grimmjow pushed himself away from the warm embrace of Kurosaki’s arms. As soon as he left them he could feel the cold creeping up on him. He never knew that the warmth of another human being could feel so… comforting.

As Grimmjow loosened his hold around him and pushed himself away Ichigo reached to get some tissues for the man. Offering Grimmjow the box of tissues he just received a chuckle in reply. Confused Ichigo tilted his head inquiringly, not sure that he understood the joke.

“To think I would spill out my guts to some unknown doctor… tch that never crossed my mind before. But now, sitting here I can actually say I feel better, not by much mind you, but I definitely feel better.” A small grin made its way onto Grimmjow’s face.

Ichigo gave a small chuckle, relief and gratitude flooding through him. “I believe that when people share their emotions with one another it brings them closer to each other. They may not fully understand what the other one feels but if they never try, they will never know.” Smiling at Grimmjow, Ichigo placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and squeezed, trying to convey as much as possible with the small gesture.

Sighing Grimmjow returned Ichigo’s smile and slid down from the lounge chair.

“I don’t know what the time is but do you think we can stop here for today. I don’t think I would be able to handle much more today.”

Ichigo looked at the watch that hung on the wall and saw they were only 30 minutes into their session time. Shaking his head and smiling again Ichigo answered Grimmjow.

“There is nothing to worry about. I was thinking of stopping before you said anything. Please go home and rest Grimmjow. After something as draining as today you’ll need it.”

Stepping towards the office door Grimmjow turned the door knob and turned around to face Ichigo once more.

“Thank you Ichigo… for listening to me and comforting me when that was not even your job to begin with. You have my gratitude.” After bowing deeply Grimmjow left the room, closing the door behind him. Heading towards the parking lot the events of the day replayed in his mind but for some reason the emotions that usually accompanied these kinds of memories were dulled and faint.

“Ah, Jaegerjaques-kun! How was your session today with Kurosaki-sensei?”

Pulled out of his recollections Grimmjow looked for the owner of the voice. A few seconds of searching alerted him to a blonde man heading his way. _Who was this again? Ura-something_? Remembering names wasn’t one of his forte’s so he didn’t bother anymore.

“We were just talking about things that happened in the past and stuff like that, nothing really important.” His pride was already in shambles after Kurosaki saw his breakdown but now that he was in somewhat better control of his emotions he would be damned before showing a complete stranger his weakness.

Kisuke’s eyes roamed over Grimmjow’s face noticing his red eyes, slightly swollen eyelids and the stubborn set of his jaw. Kisuke couldn’t help but smile.

“I see, it’s best to get back home, I’m sure your sister will start worrying if you dally around for too long.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” asked Grimmjow, clearly annoyed by this blonde haired arsehole.

“I’m just saying that I don’t want your sister to get worried. Now if you’ll excuse me Jaegerjaques-kun I have some business to attend to.” He left the annoyed and fuming man with a light smile on his lips as he headed towards Ichigo’s office.

Knocking on the door and letting himself in Kisuke observed the man seated behind the desk. He looked a bit paler but there was a small smile splayed on his lips. Coughing slightly to get Ichigo’s attention he closed the door and headed towards the chairs in front of the desk.

“Urahara-san, how can I help you?” asked Ichigo, clearly surprised by the man’s appearance.

“I just walked into Grimmjow at the reception. He looked a lot calmer and relaxed than the first time he came here.”

Chuckling to himself Ichigo answered, “We made some headway today and hopefully he’ll trust me now to help him with whatever difficulty he faces. He really struggles to show anyone any negative emotion. Anger he doesn’t struggle with in the least, but pain, fear and loss… those he sees as weakness. He refuses to show weakness. He tries to use anger and aggression to hide all of it. ”

Kisuke’s eyebrows rose but he said nothing, he should keep a watch on the progress of these sessions and the relationship developing between these two.

“All right Ichigo, just remember to submit a report at the end of the day.”

“I won’t forget Urahara-san, you don’t have to remind me every time.” Ichigo rolled his eyes at his superior.

“Well then Ichigo-kun I’ll be off. Take care and nice shirt by the way.” Closing the door behind him Kisuke left and headed towards his office.

Ichigo looks down at the teal blue shirt he chose to wear in his rush this morning, realization dawning on him, his cheeks burning red from all the blood rushing to his face. _This is going to be one long day._ But he couldn’t help the small smile that crept over his lips.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always do leave a comment if you so wish. And if you also want send through some much needed suggestions!! :) Ja mata ne minna-san!!

**Author's Note:**

> I'll add characters as I go along, as well as new relationships. I do intend to use most of the characters in bleach, just need to keep track whose who, and how they are connected. I do hope you enjoyed reading this. Please leave a comment!!  
> Doumo arigatou gozaimashita! *bows*


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